Critics

The critics in my head

are particularly vocal tonight:

an unruly sidewalk mob,

groundlings,gutter rabble, 

single-minded and strident, 

as my words try to push their way through,

catching elbows and feet every step.

What do they say? The usual:

None of this is going anywhere.

You were writing so much better

last year.

You're stupid, you put this on yourself

that you could do this--and for what?

What are you getting? No one really reads.

Oh, they might if you wrote something

worth a damn, not this drivel, no sir.

It won't always be like this, I tell myself.

Patience is the way out, the bully-beater

that will make them relent. Until then,

I will be their humble stenographer,

reporter and biographer, convince them that

their thoughts are pure genius,

totally new territory, profound

ideas expressed eloquently

and delivered with just the right

amount of force. Superb! Bravo!

Silver-tongued mastery!

I'll welcome them, catch them

off-guard with my flattery,

get them drunk on praise

and slip away from their

softened minds and do whatever

poetic thing strikes me:

observe the moon at five-minute

intervals; catalog the sounds

on the block, observe what happens

in six long breaths, find just the right

words for the shades of gray passing

overhead, read the dictionary aloud,

write imaginary dialogue for

people behind a cafe window,

order my espresso or pinot or stout

and sip slowly until the words come out.

More Creative Writing Homework

Thanks to the students of Creative Writing, semester one for these topics.

The root of the word “journal,” jour, means day. Write every day—or at least as often as you can—and you will be able to lower your anxiety and expectations about your writing. It will open your mind, free your thoughts. Remember, don’t edit as you go. Just write, and follow your writing, wherever it goes.

1. Write about the critic in your head. What does he or she say?
2. Explain the feeling of being inspired.
3. Incorporate the description of the sound of wind in your writing.
4. Describe a feeling by using a color.
5. What color is your soul?
6. When did you realize you’d grown up?
7. If you could have any superpower, what would it be, and why?
8. What is your favorite holiday, and why?
9. What is your worst fear?
10. Describe the sky, from night to morning.
11. A place you hate.
12. How do you feel about the mail?
13. Write about the changing of leaves.
14. Write about things in the clouds.
15. Write exactly what you are thinking.
16. Describe your best friend without giving his/her name.
17. Write about a hospital.
18. Write about one of your summer days.
19. What are you passionate about?
20. What gets you through the day?
21. Describe your day at school.
22. Write about your favorite season.
23. What is your dream day?
24. Describe a scene just by its sounds.
25. Write about your ideal family twenty years from now.
26. If you could pick one season to die, which one would it be?
27. Often, rain makes people depressed, and sunshine makes people happy. Why do you think this is, and what are some other things that create strong emotions for you?
28. Write about a place that has special meaning for you.
29. What is your favorite thing to do, and why?
30. Are we doomed to become our parents?
31. Write about a world without color.
32. Write from the perspective of an inanimate object.
33. How would you live your life if you knew the date of your death?
34. Write about the safest place you know.
35. What would you do if you won the lottery, but you couldn’t spend the money on yourself?
36. You’re an outcast, because you were born with feet where your hands should be, and hands where your feet should be. Write about your life.
37. You’re 37 years old. You almost made a pro soccer team, but you got injured and lost everything. You’ve turned to self-destructive actions. Write about everything.
38. Who is the one person you could spend your life with on an island? What would it be like?
39. What planet would you travel to, and why?
40. Write about your favorite song—how it makes you feel, lines you like, associations you have with it, etc.
41. Write about your favorite memory.
42. Write about a painful memory.
43. Write about a bittersweet memory.
44. Pick a place or region—real or fictional—and describe everything in and around it. Use imagery.
45. Are you afraid of death or not? Why or why not?
46. What makes you who you are?
47. What (NOT “who”) is your greatest teacher? It may be something abstract or concrete.
48. What word are you? Pick only one, and explain.
49. If you could live forever, would you? What would you do? How would life be different?
50. If you could read minds, would you? If so, which minds?
51. If you could go back in time, what would you do?
52. If you could be anyone else, who would you be?
53. If your life was a song, how would it go? What instruments would be involved?
54. Describe, in objects from nature, what is going through your mind.
55. If you could watch the world from the moon, what would you see?
56. If you could be a shadow of any person in the world, who would it be?
57. Describe your life by the seasons of the year. Does your lifestyle vary from season to season?
58. Write about the evolution of your taste in music. Has it changed since you were young?
59. Write about a snow day at your house.
60. Write about the last day of school. What emotions are present? Are there pranks or jokes?

Your creative writing homework

Journal Topics

Remember, when we write in journals, we are focusing on expression first. Don’t worry about form or mechanics—simply get your ideas out there. Tell your internal editor to chill out. Try to write without stopping for at least fifteen minutes.
By the way, my stats tell me this is the most-visited post on my blog. Let me know, via comment or email, how these topics work out for you. Also let me know of other creative-writing topics you've found useful. Thanks!

1. What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
2. Write about one perfect day/hour/moment.
3. Desert-island lists (books, CDs, mementos, etc.)
4. Describe the song in your head using shapes, colors and textures.
5. What are you most like: a poem, a novel, a song, or a play?
6. Write an advertisement for yourself.
7. Write status updates for someone famous/infamous.
8. Are you a sketch, painting, photograph or sculpture?
9. Where were you ten years ago? What were you doing? Who were you with? What was most important?
10. Describe five people in exactly five words each.
11. Write a third-person voice-over of your day.
12. Write song lyrics for a really boring, ordinary thing (feeding the cat, taking out the trash, riding the bus). Good practice for situational irony.
13. Write a really bad essay question or word problem.
14. Best/worst meal, vacation, weekend, holiday, birthday.
15. Write about an intended punishment that was nothing of the sort.
16. Write about the light at a certain time of day.
17. Describe your day by its different light sources.
18. Pick a picture from the bag. Tell the stories of the people you see.
19. When did the world get bigger for you? Smaller?
20. What do you miss the most?
21. How did you learn the meaning of any one of the following: family, sibling, parent, grandparent, step-, half-, foster-, adoption. (You may do this one several times, with different choices.)
22. Freewrite: You are to write your thoughts as they come. Simply transcribe. Do not stop or censor. You may choose this option more than once.
23. Write a poem in the style and rhythm of a school PA announcement.
24. Write a dictionary definition for someone.
25. Imitate another writer or written piece. Parodies optional.
26. Personification: Write from the perspective of an inanimate object. Possibilities: your locker, a ceiling tile, a pen, a paintbrush, a knife, a gun, a pill.
27. Unopened box.
28. Rhyming: make lists/columns, then write something that rhymes. Meaning is secondary.
29. List poem: things to celebrate; things to apologize for; things I wish I said; things I’d take back.
30. Ode poem: praise someone or something, and address him/her/it directly.
31. Write down a dream as completely as possible. No commentary, just reporting.
32. Movie last lines: Pick a famous last line and use it in a new piece of writing.
33. Picture response: Imagery, details, beyond borders, dialogue, characterization for people in the picture, who is the photographer?
34. Direct address: Write as if you are speaking directly to an object or person. Option: use personification.
35. Metaphor practice. List/pick one/expand
36. Ambiguity: make sense out of nonsense; make nonsense out of sense.
37. P.O.V./personification. Write about a storm from the perspective of: a lightning bolt, a tree, a raindrop, a leaf, a cloud, a lightning rod, etc.
38. Music response.
39. Write about a room you haven’t been in for three years.
40. Images: sound of ice; rust; a breeze; two or three ____; a crinkled note.
41. Images: first star; bare branch; sound of the wind; taste of salt; feel of old denim.
42. Sound first. Make a list of words that sound good. Combine them somehow. Meaning is secondary.
43. Ways to waste an hour.
44. Get lost.
45. Observation: go to a public place; observe and transcribe.
46. Documents that provide characterization: excuse note, police report, resume, incident report, referral, letter of recommendation, etc.
47. Write an excuse note. A parent to a school, Adam and Eve to God, etc.
48. List of names/characterization.
49. Pick five words and write about them.
50. Write something using only what you see in front of you.
51. Pick a word that makes you smile or frown, and write why that happens.
52. Write about your weekend.
53. Write about an event in which you remember feeling very awkward.
54. If you could change one thing about yourself or your life, what would it be?
55. One’s flights of fantasy.
56. The first time you hated someone.
57. Write about what you admire.
58. Favorite memory.
59. Character study about one person in the class without saying the name. (Note from Mr. W: Be honest, but not mean.)
60. What does the saying “blood runs thicker than water” mean to you?
61. Would you rather be deaf or blind?
62. What do you think happens when you die?
63. Write about something you heard someone talking about in the hallway.
64. Write about something you see in your surroundings.
65. Write a story with an ironic ending.
66. Write about a time when something turned out unexpectedly.
67. If you had a superpower, what would it be? How would you use it?
68. If you were an evil genius, how would you take over the world?
69. Something that bothers you.
70. What season reminds you of love, and why?
71. Pots-and-pans robots.
72. Your biggest fear, and why.
73. Write a fictional story about animals with human characteristics.
74. Write from the perspective of food and you are being eaten.
75. Write a scene in which everyone’s body language is different.

A shout into the electronic wilderness

Late bloomer. That’s me. In a lot of areas in my life. So why not start a blog? Weren’t they the rage, the new thing, about two years ago? Probably longer. I remember my students talking about them. (I remember thinking that some of them were probably doing more writing online than in school.) These kids are halfway through college now.

And I’m starting my blog.

I want to get back into the habit of writing regularly about anything and everything that interests me. And, there’s at least the potential for an audience.

Writing this way feels a bit strange. I’m always telling my students to plan, to think of writing as a process. Dump your thoughts out onto the page, step back, then try to shape them into something coherent. Rambling, stream-of-consciousness writing tends to be as meaningful as a lump of unformed clay, I’d reason. I’m not ready to let go of that idea completely, but I may loosen up a bit.

I told myself I’d write a song today. I have a title and an idea of the subject. Someone told me to come up with a cool riff. Good advice. Words on a page don’t make a song, even if you label them “verse” and “chorus.”

I haven’t even played guitar at home much recently. Too focused on my bike, and silly little home projects. I need to sit down and strum away, sing some other people’s songs and get my fingers and mind a bit loose. Then we’ll see what happens.

I’m used to being the teacher. If you’re reading this—god help you—feel free to take on that role. Or any other, for that matter.

OK, first blog entry, ever. Done.

“Check out my fixie!”